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msshearty:

I was so in love with you.

I remember how often I have told myself that I should start forgetting you and move on because if I am going to compare the moments you made me happy with the times you broke my heart, it is like comparing how many times I have seen rainbow and the rain. But when things go otherwise, I became a hopeless romantic, believing unto miracles and signs, setting my hopes high, believing unto falling in love both at the right time. My love for you changed me in a lot of ways and I am forever thankful for that. It taught me how to accept truth without getting my heart broken. It taught me that not all the love you are willing to give for someone necessarily be reciprocated, sometimes all it takes is just to give it solely without asking and demanding and expecting for anything equal in return. I know there are a lot of guys who took their guts just to tell me I should choose them instead of you, that I am not worthy of any of those heartaches you have given me because I should be loved. But to whatever ways they did just to please me, I still ended up with coming back to you not minding all the possible heartaches you will going to give.

Because I was so in love with you.

And maybe that is just it. If you love someone and even if you cannot stop the bleeding, you still found yourself being happy even being in bed of thorns because you know it was him who caused you that. Because everything in your mind says it is okay to bleed as long as the cutter is him. All the heartaches, all the moments of burning all the unsent letters with all the tears and swearing from now on i will forget you but crazily writing it again and then ended up being in a trash bin once again queued to be burn just because you don’t have the courage to send it, all the countless moments you have told yourself that you will forget him because you cannot take anymore the pain and everything was so unfair but ended up being void just because he texted you and ask how your day went that made you feel very very special is all worth it. If you love a person, you are loving their all, their flaws, their 2AM suicidal thoughts, their passion, their possession, their everything. I have loved you with all of myself even if you have just loved me a dot of it. Thank you for being my first love, for being my first unrequited love. I will be forever thankful that I was so in love with you.